What to Do When You Know Your Friend Is Layoff
Several years ago at my male parent's funeral, people lined up to pay their respects, including Pat, one of the best bosses I've ever had. I adored Pat: She was a smart lady, a bully mentor, and a real motivator.
I'll never forget all she taught me—just as I'll never forget how, on that day, she hugged me and said: "Don't worry. Soon y'all won't fifty-fifty think what your dad looked like."
Seriously?
A layoff, in many ways, mimics a death. It also seems to bring well-nigh the same kinds of stupid comments. Case in indicate: When I was "corporately restructured" out of my role a few years dorsum, a colleague hugged me and said: "Don't worry. Soon yous'll wonder why yous didn't have the good sense to go yourself out of here sooner!"
Seriously?
People mean well, but especially in times of crisis or grief, they say some pretty nonsensical things. Simply I tin't fault these misguided well-wishers, especially considering I seem to exist attending a lot of these workplace "funerals" lately. And, even having been on the receiving end of a dismissal, I detect myself struggling to find the correct words to comfort and counsel fallen beau workers.
So, how might we manage such sensitive communications? Looking back on my own feel, hither are a few things to keep in listen.
one. Avoid Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda
It'southward natural to want to "set" things. So, we oft want to bound in with advice on what our newly unemployed contact should practise at present, what this motility would do for him or her, and what it could atomic number 82 to. Case: "You know what you should do? Take all that great knowledge nigh marketing and start your own business. It would really show off your smarts and you could even have some of the clients from this place!"
Every bit helpful as these types of suggestions may audio (and as great as they might be), your comrade is probably non set to hear them. In fact, what he or she may be hearing instead is: "Figure out something awesome—and fast," or "You could have done so much here, only y'all just didn't become it done," or, worse: "I know your puppy but got ran over by a motorcar; why don't y'all just go go a new one?"
People demand time to get used to the concept of moving on. When you lot're let become, you lot suddenly no longer belong, you lot're no longer part of a team, and y'all no longer accept a place to go from Mon through Friday. Replacing this comfy routine with suggestions of the unknown doesn't really assistance. At least not yet.
ii. Betoken to Possibilities Exterior of Ourselves
Walt Disney was really fired from the Kansas Metropolis Star for not being creative plenty. Multi-billionaire author J.K. Rowling was let go from her job as a secretarial assistant. Oprah Winfrey was pulled off the air, chosen "unfit for television receiver" past a Baltimore producer. Abode Depot came most considering its owners were cut from a no-longer-in-existence home comeback concatenation. Even New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg was squeezed out of his chore at Citigroup. And the list goes on and on.
The bespeak is: Reminding your colleague of people we all respect and adore who triumphed in spite of their dismissals can aid him or her focus on possibilities without having to look inward at the electric current circumstances. It gives a bit of perspective, helping this person to realize that he or she is not to blame for the layoff—and that this, too, shall laissez passer.
3. Stick Around, Only Say Nothing
No matter the private or the circumstances, being let become from a task stings. Feelings and emotions closely align with the well-known five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In add-on, financial worries, societal standings, and self-worth are often negatively impacted.
During such times, your co-worker, your friend, or your family member needs you to be there, merely he or she doesn't necessarily need yous to say anything. Remember: While the worst thing you can do is disappear from someone's life and shun him or her (which often does happen), the 2d worst thing is to say something that creates an even deeper wound.
So, stick effectually, and if you aren't certain what to say, just say nothing. What this person really needs is to talk it out and for y'all to listen with both ears. So give him or her a hug, look into his or her eyes, and nod with agreement and validation. It'll do a great bargain of expert and be more than than enough to ease your colleague's transition.
Photo of woman laid off courtesy of Shutterstock.
Paolina Milana is an expert in strategic communications. With more than 15 years as a respected leader, her feel spans a variety of industries and environments including for-profit and nonprofit, B2B and B2C, startup and established. A masterful storyteller with a journalistic background, Paolina has helped build brands and bottom lines for organizations, including PR Newswire, Marketwired, YP, Northern Illinois University, The Lighthouse for The Bullheaded, and St. Baldrick's Foundation. She is a published writer and laurels-winning writer. She currently works as a marketing, PR, and editorial consultant as well as a career transition coach. She also serves as a CASA (Courtroom Appointed Special Advocate) helping children navigate the foster care organization. Observe Paolina at PaolinaMilana.com or follow her on Twitter @PaolinaMilana.
More than from Paolina MilanaSource: https://www.themuse.com/advice/what-to-say-and-what-not-to-when-a-friend-gets-laid-off
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